We Are Looking Too
by Wandex System
Summary: Hello. My name is Yue Ying,and my story is as simple as can be. But I'm so lonely here,and there is no one whom I could tell it to...   Yue Ying/Zhuge Liang,Yue Ying/Sima Yi,Sima Yi/Zhuge Liang


Hello. My name is Yue Ying,and my story is simple as it can be. But I'm so lonely here,and there is no one I can tell it to.

When I was a little girl,I lived in a big city with flats,and markets,and fountains. It was the capital of Wei. My father was an official of Cao Cao's,and my mother dedicated her life to educating me and my elder sister.

I was not beautiful as her,but I was much cleverer. I spent my free time studying different subjects such as war strategy,martial arts and Confucius.

We lived happily,knowing no sorrow. When I opened the big window overlooking the street,and fresh air played with my red hair,making me close my eyes and smile,many people smiled back. Those were little children,and serious officials,and busy merchants,and old women. I was a rich girl,and smiling to me was good for them,but little did I know about this.

One day everything changed. It was winter,and cold wet snow was starting to cover the streets,hiding the fallen leaves and making New Year come closer. It was my birthday that day. I was about to become twelve. I ran to the window and tried to open it but it was closed.

It was the last time I saw my old house. Cao Cao had problems with my father,and we moved to a small town somewhere in Northern China.

And then I met him. He was a clever boy from my class,charming and calm. We spent lots of time together,fishing and walking in the forest. It was friendship,good friendship and nothing more. Zhuge Liang was an interesting person to talk to,and together we became the best students of the school. Together,everywhere together. Any document mentioning Zhuge Liang had my name on it as well. I thought there would be no end to our happiness,but two years later...

We were getting older,and our strong friendship was changing step by step. One day,right before the eighth grade started,Zhuge Liang presented me flowers. Those were simple flowers,pansies or something like that,but it was the first time in my life I ever received such gifts. I was so happy,so happy,I couldn't resist smiling...

Suddenly,I felt something was wrong. I shivered,feeling something cold and scary creeping closer to me. I turned around quickly,and saw two deep black eyes staring at me with confusing interest and curiosity,studying me from under his straight narrow eyebrows. It was a thin boy dressed in black and purple,with long black hair scattered all over his narrow shoulders. He was probably new,for I didn't recall ever meeting him before.

This was the way I depicted death. His attitude made me shiver and my very first floral tribute fell into the mud. I ran away quickly,wishing only not to see him again,leaving the first flowers,a modest symbol of pureness and innocence lie in the mud,being stomped even deeper in by the rough teenagers. But I was too much an intellectual type,I wasn't the girl to cry...

I met him the next break. We were talking with Zhuge Liang and preparing for the next lesson. Then I felt cold and uncomfortable again. The boy wasn't in my class,but he was our age,and there he stood sniffing flowers.

I took a closer look at them and recognized my pansies. The thing putting a bond between me and Zhuge Liang,now belonged to him.

He smirked,putting the flowers into his bag. I couldn't say if this smirk was sinister,but it was ice. Pure ice cold.

I told Liang of my fears,and he went to talk with that boy. I didn't know what they were talking about,but I heard the last thing in their conversation. It was laughter,"Muahahahahahaaaa!"which made me freeze and stand still with my eyes open widely,until Zhuge Liang finally came to comfort me.

I heard this laughter many times later,saw it in my nightmares and,awake at night,when I opened my eyes in chilling fear,I saw the two cold black eyes,studying my soul,looking through my mind.

I hated that boy from the parallel class,or was it hate?.. I couldn't explain. It was a feeling strong enough to be compared to our friendship with Zhuge Liang,but it was something totally different at the same time.

A year passed. I was starting to forget the scary laughter and the ice coldness of the glare.

One rainy autumn day Zhuge Liang found a message in his schoolbag. It said that if Zhuge Liang wanted to witness the magic of Tao,he had to come to a faraway region of the town at six o'clock in the evening.

The rain was pouring hardly all the way we went there,I was completely wet despite the warm coat and a scarf I put on,and we were both so cold when we arrived...

I remember going into the old house with almost no paint on,water dripping from the broken pipes,squeaky sand under my wet feet,and the warmth of Zhuge Liang's hand holding mine.

He stood there all alone,hands crossed on his chest and with a signature smirk touching the bloodless lips.

His name was Sima Yi. We started studying Taoism together,keeping this all a secret,for that time any religion apart from what was taught by Confucius,was forbidden. We spent all the free time studying the magic of Peace together,and picked up sticks to question the skies above of our fates.

We stayed outside for nights,looking at the starry sky,and wondering if those stars are souls of our predecessors.

Our gladness when Zhuge Liang finally managed to turn water into wine was hard to tell. But when he stood it the old room smiling with gladness and proudly,I saw Sima Yi bite his lips,staring at the other boy.

I felt that soon something will go wrong. So wrong I would never manage to put it back on its places...

One day we were drawing a picture of Luo-tzu riding a bull,when I felt Sima Yi's cold hand on mine.

I was scared,and I pulled my hand away from his steely fingers,and nothing followed.

A year later somebody found out where we were hiding our taoist attributes. This meant we had to move everything to somebody's house. My parents were against any of those forbidden things,so Zhuge Liang decided to take it,as well as Sima Yi. If not for me,a big fight would have broken out. I told them to pull sticks out of my hand,and the one who pulls the shortest will take everything.

The short stick was pulled out by Sima Yi.

Once,however,Sima Yi felt ill,and we were planning one really important magical act. I was sitting in Zhuge Liang's room and we were talking about how two years ago we met Yi. I laughed at myself for being afraid of his appearance,while Liang stared at me with anger sparkling in his green eyes. He then told me that,it was nothing to laugh at. Nothing to laugh at... How wrong I was that time...

A few weeks later a fire burnt down our school. All of the taoist attributes Sima Yi brought to school were consumed by the pitiless fire,flames all over our maps,sticks,telescopes and magic scrolls.

I was so astonished. I loved that all,and the feeling if loneliness and nothing was starting to creep into my soul. Those were the wishes of our childhood burning,those were the memories of innocence and dreaming being mercilessly brought down by fire.

My red hair was like the fiery wave,and I felt so hot...

I turned to Zhuge Liang and saw tears rolling down his cheeks,and I knew exactly what he felt like. I reached out to wipe his tears out,when the chilling laughter made my hand stop in the air. It was Sima Yi.

And I didn't ever know what he was thinking of,but this laughter made me turn around and go away. I just couldn't stand being in the place where I was put to choose between the two opposites,between fire and ice,tears and laughter,old friends and new friends,Shu and Wei... My parents were both Weions,and this need to choose was making me depressed.

When I was already far away,I turned around to look at the two boys,and I saw something which I couldn't explain. I was expecting to see them fighting,or arguing,but the picture I was to behold showed me Sima Yi,his hands on the shoulders of the sitting Liang. They kept looking at the burning houses.

The cold laughter stood in my ears for two more days.

There was no school now,and I haven't met Sima or Zhuge since that day. My parents told me we were moving to another town. I can still recall mother's face-glad and smiling,telling me that father has now got a new job. I made myself smile,hardly managing to lift the ends of my lips.

Then I ran to my room,closed the door and cried. About everything I have experienced tin this town,about everyone I have met,about our school,and about using to be too much an intellectual type to cry...

Then there were no more things to cry about. But there were tears. Just pure tears which couldn't stop rolling from my eyes. I kept crying all day,and the next day we had to leave.

I knew I had to say goodbye to them. Even more. I had to kiss them goodbye.

But my heart was one,and I was not the girl to kiss everybody. My goodbye kiss was one. Who deserved it?..

I ran out of my house and closed the door. Cold,fresh air played with my long hair,throwing it here and there just as it did when I was four years younger,just as it will do all my life long... This was eternity,and one kiss of a red-haired girl meant nothing to it.

But it meant a lot to those waiting for me out of the yard. They stood there,far away from each other,both looking at me and waiting. It was a waiting game...

I ran closer to them,wind blowing through my hair,and took a place between them. We took each other's hands and looked at the clear sky,not a single cloud,blue as it can be. We looked into one sky all together,the last time.

"When you are there...There...You can always look into the sky and...You know that I...We are looking too. We are here...always,"Liang said,and I knew he was trying to hide the tears.

And then I heard the cold,chilling laughter.

**A/N I would tell you no more,but I can write a sequel to it if you wish. Please review and tell me what you think... It's a sad story,isn't it?..**


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